Mini Ventures | Changing the Definition of All
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29 Nov Changing the Definition of All

A couple of weekends ago I spent a wonderful day in London at Mumsnet’s Blogfest.  There have been some fantastic posts written about the day already. Some focusing on the fantastic talks, some on the inspirational sessions and some on the quite frankly amazing goody bags.  Unlike last year when I knew no-one at all really and spent a very apprehensive journey down on the train with Jess, this year it was a bit like attending a good friends party and wandering around chatting to people I now know really well.  I know I am very lucky that I feel like this about these events now, and I am very privileged to call some of these fab bloggers very good friends.

For me however there was one piece of advice that I keep coming back to. I keep thinking about it and have quoted it at lots of people since.  It wasn’t from the session on photography (although I do need to improve that – thanks Sarah!) or from the speakers or even from the quite brilliant think bombs. It was from another blogger (who I’m afraid I don’t know but would like to) who stood up at the back of Hall 1 and in response to a comment from the panel where it had been said “That you can’t have it all, or at least not all at the same time anyway” she stood up and said something along the lines of, and I apologise if I misquote you.

 

You can have it all, you just need to change the definition of what all looks like.

 

For some reason this comment has really resonated with me. I know it is because I am in a huge state of change. I am trying to get some balance back in my life and that’s what this new blog is all about. However I know too many women (and men) who constantly feel like they are failing because they have been trying to achieve this mystical ‘All’. Before I handed my notice in, I frequently questioned whether to do so, would mean that I had failed? Would I have? Do you think I have? I have a half drafted post entitled ‘How does she do it?’ which I have been asked a lot. The answer I jokingly used to give was ‘badly’ but I kind of meant it too.  I often felt I wasn’t quite getting it right.  I certainly didn’t feel like I was having it all.

So does it mean that I’ve failed because I’ve decided to tread a different path? No I really don’t think it does. I think what it means is that I’ve changed the definition of All, and from next year what amounts to ‘Having it All’ will be defined by me.

Mami 2 Five
15 Comments
  • Something Crunchy Mummy
    Posted at 07:33h, 29 November Reply

    Fantastic post and so true. I sometimes feel I am failing as I try to do it all but as you said I need to change my all #sundaystars xx

  • Betty and the Bumps
    Posted at 07:45h, 29 November Reply

    Hello!

    I think everybody has a different definition of “all” or maybe we can have it “all”, just to different degrees?

    I suppose the traditional definition of “having it all” would be having a family, running a tight ship at home while also enjoying a fulfilling and well-paid career. But not everybody would want that. I wouldn’t want to work full time and have a glamorous job that took me to exciting places, but other people could look at me and think that I don’t have it all because I don’t have the “great job” thing going on.

    I already feel as if I’m rambling, which is what I do when I’ve read something I really connect with!

    Sometime this year I had a kind of epiphany and I thought, “Beth. You are 33. You are married with a toddler. You own your own home. You have been in employment for the last 13 years and you contribute to your home and to society as a whole”. Really, what more could I want? I do have it all, but maybe there are aspects of my all that I could tweak so that I feel happier and more fulfilled.

    I don’t know if any of that makes sense!!

    Thanks for the thought provoking post :-)

    xxx

    #sundaystars

    • Mini Ventures
      Posted at 08:17h, 29 November Reply

      It does make perfect sense. I also think that sometimes the glamorous job isn’t all its cracked up to be. Most mums I know who technically have one, don’t really enjoy the same excitement they had before the kids. I know lots that do, but you are so right it is all about what works for you/ Thanks for your lovely comment. x

  • Kaye
    Posted at 08:31h, 29 November Reply

    Who is that blogger? What a fantastic quote and how lovely that it wasn’t one of the talks that resonated with you, but a wonderful comment from one of our own! #sundaystars

    • Mini Ventures
      Posted at 08:32h, 29 November Reply

      I know I’d love to find out who she was!

  • mummyofboygirltwins
    Posted at 13:18h, 29 November Reply

    Great post – and I too was thinking a lot about that comment! For me I gave up the career after the twins were born. I knew that I wouldn’t be good at juggling that responsible HR role and being a hands on Mother so I didn’t return. I was fortunate to be able to choose though – so many women can’t. I feel as though I have it all though now – I feel as though my life is perfect. But my ‘all’ might not be the same as your all, or any of my friends – but that is okay isn’t it? It is what is important to us as an individual – and really crucial that we remember that :) Jess xx

    #sundaystars

  • Caro | The Twinkle Diaries
    Posted at 16:57h, 29 November Reply

    Aah this was one of the comments that stayed with me from Blogfest too. It’s so true isn’t it? I truly believe I have it all — but according to MY definition!

    My definition of what constitutes ‘all’ may not be the same as someone else’s! Fab post lovely — and I LOVE the new logo. Love the black — love the font. Really, really slick xx

    • Mini Ventures
      Posted at 17:00h, 29 November Reply

      Thanks my lovely and for all your help beforehand x

  • Barjerow
    Posted at 19:57h, 29 November Reply

    I always thought I was failing, but maybe I had it ‘ALL’ after all!

  • Barjerow
    Posted at 20:00h, 29 November Reply

    Great Post. XX

  • Sarah Christie
    Posted at 15:01h, 30 November Reply

    Love this and as you know I so get it Karen, but Hoorah for the wonderful change you and I are currently going through and heres to having it all on our terms x

  • Kat | Beau Twins
    Posted at 21:29h, 03 December Reply

    I think as long as you always have, love, drive, ambition, dreams and support you can have it all. It’s also about noticing that you do have it all, being grateful for what you have is having it all. That’s how I see it! Superb post. I am loving Mini Ventures posts! Xx

  • Katie
    Posted at 23:15h, 04 December Reply

    I thought that lady’s comment was fantastic too! I have been raising kids for 14 years for me right now, this is my all. Next year, when all my babies are in school full time, I’m sure my all will change too. I can’t wait to see where your new venture takes you.
    Thanks for linking up to #sundaystars xxx

  • Katie LifeonVistaStreet Haydock
    Posted at 20:44h, 06 December Reply

    Everyone’s ‘all’ is different and I think there is too much pressure on women particularly these days to have it ‘all’. It’s so nice to see someone so lovely chasing what they WANT :-) so me to, you do have it ‘all’…. happiness xxxx

  • Mini Ventures | Last Day in the Office
    Posted at 10:00h, 09 December Reply

    […] But having said all that I am really really excited about the new opportunities to come, so it is onwards and upwards from here! I am ready to change my definition of all. […]

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